I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
the liver wants what the liver wants
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
