THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
