I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
