New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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