I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
