I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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