I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Houston, we have a squirter
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
