i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
