and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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