There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
