Have you finally orgasmed yet?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
