Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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