I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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