I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
