My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Found the puke drawer
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
