That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Randomize
