Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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