Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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