Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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