Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
