Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
