Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
