nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
