the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
