but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
