he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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