Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
