He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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