All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
