u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
