the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
