weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
