Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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