Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i drank out of a bidet.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
