At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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