So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
