The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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