Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize