At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
