We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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