She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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