the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
