Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
