Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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