Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
