If i come over, it means nothing
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
