well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
