Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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