So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
