a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
