there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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