I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize