i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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