nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
