she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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