so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
