don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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