Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Randomize
