Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
