god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
